Moments that Matter

 
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going to the baseball

My sister Menchu and her boyfriend Ponchito at the time and now husband of 18 years, went to Baseball games at the Baltimore Stadium. As they attended these games she realized that she did not particularly like going to them. There was a lot of rushing after work, getting ready, taking the train, watching a very long game and then traveling by bus back to DC. She thought about these experiences and told my brother in law she was not particularly thrilled with it. While acknowledging that she did not fully enjoy the experience my brother in law said with conviction and a real peace of mind  “if you don’t enjoy going to the baseball games with me, it is OK, I can find other friends who can go with me”

At that very moment she felt illuminated. She understood that if she decided not to go to the baseball games he could easily find someone else to go with him and she would be missing a moment that mattered to him so much; someone else would be living those great experiences that brought him immense joy.  

While telling me this story she shared the following: “at that moment something hit me and I understood, If I gave it a try (those baseball adventures) those experiences could become part of our rituals and critical memories of our life together.” That was a great lesson for my sister and to this date she remembers it. You need to change the way your mind thinks and consider how the entertaining of different perspectives on one situation can be the key that unlocks the magic of memories that can last a lifetime; it is a great thing when you embrace the possibilities of building a life together and while doing so taking into account those moments that matter to each other is crucial. To this date, going to baseball games together has become part of who they are.

Moments that matter is a concept that we utilize in our branding company when analyzing an audience, however we believe it is a key concept when you are building an ecosystem of supportive relationships around you.  If you take into account the moments that matter for your partner in life, your best friends, your siblings, your kids and your employees even, you will have a greater chance to succeed in your relationships with them by showing up when it matters. On the other hand it is important that you are very clear with others of your very own “moments that matter”.  Change is the only thing that truly stays with us forever so for that very reason it is good to do an exercise of updating your understanding of Moments that Matter for others and for yourself. While thinking about and understanding the moments that matter of the important people in your life, you are acknowledging and celebrating their individuality and the way they feel supported and loved.  We have a tendency to think that everyone experiences the world in the same way we do and that is a very wrong assumption.  As a matter of fact there is a book that I read that explains it very well. The book is called the five languages of love by Gary Chapman (1995) and in it he explains how all of us experience love in very different ways and if you understand your significant other’s preferred language of love and viceversa then you have a bigger chance for succeeding in that relationship. Moments that Matter is a concept that we truly recommend adopting for the wellness, happiness and fulfillment in your relationships.