We All Have Our Own Timelines: The Story of Lemons



A Story of Lemons

My mom always says that her three children are very different, and she would exemplify our differences in a story of lemons.  She would say, “If I tell my children to go to the supermarket and bring me three lemons this is what will happen. Menchu will go and bring me back one thinking that three may just be too much, Ruben will bring back exactly three in order to fulfill the request and Pili will bring back not less than 6 lemons along with apples and possibly other fruit that may be needed at a later time.”

This story tells us something about our personalities, but this is just part of our story and I want to share a piece of our journeys. Although our personalities may be different, we also share an immense amount of love for the same things. A passion for learning from the world and from each other, a commitment to supporting each other’s decisions and dreams, a love for creating memorable experiences together and enjoying our favorite things: family, music, food (although in this family the men cook and we support them while drinking wine), traveling, fostering wellness, and most importantly sharing our understanding that a diversity of perspectives, styles, and journeys is a blessing.  We now know something very important – that the journey to happiness is as different as the story of the three lemons.

Each of us has found a different journey to our life fulfillment.  My sister Menchu found the love of her life when she was in her early 20s and was extremely clear about what she wanted and what she did not want in her life. Thus, we were blessed with Ponchito, the first addition to our family.  They have been together for 20 years, got married and started a family 13 years into their partnership. We now have Santiago, 9, and Carmina almost 5 as part of the clan. Menchu and Ponchito are wine enthusiasts who love music, family vacations, keeping busy all day, encouraging their children to own their choices, working very hard in their professional careers, and trying the latest new restaurant.  Menchu and I used to work together in the same organization before I quit my job and started this new adventure. She was my number one cheerleader as I rethought my journey and has been my professional and intellectual partner for as long as I can remember. We are like the Ying and the Yang.

Ruben is my older brother, although everyone is always asking if he is the youngest of the three. He and his husband Alex have been together for 13 years; they married in November of 2014, after same-sex marriage was approved in Pennsylvania.  Rubén and Alex love to travel the world, enjoy yoga and working out, love cooking and entertaining, and have the greatest sense of style.

Me, that is another story; I was married twice before marrying Christopher-Joseph.  The first time, at age 23 to a wonderful young man who was an angel but we were just too young, and I really had no idea what I wanted from a life partner.  It would take me many years, a collection of experiences and inner work to find out what that would be. However, that experience allowed me to understand that there are no set rules for life and that I needed to create my own rules, my own way, my own timelines.

The second time, I was 31 and, well, let's just say that it was not meant to be.  To my good fortune, I found and married Christopher-Joseph much later in my journey. I believe I would have never been able to recognize him, had it not been for my previous experiences.  Like me, he married young. His journey had a series of starts and stops that also resulted in experiences that helped form who he is today and allowed him to better understand what he wanted from life. We love health, fitness, traveling, and documenting our journey and partnership through pictures, designing experiences to express our love for others, and having fun creating joint fashion statements. We just seem to get each other.

Together all of us exemplify The Modern Rule.  There are no rules or set timelines for the road you take in the quest of finding love, happiness and evolution.  Each of us contributes to our lovely family in our unique ways. Every time we are together we try to celebrate our diversity of character, perspectives, styles, and experiences.  We laugh often and hard; we support each other through life’s changes.

The Modern Rule has the objective of making you see that there are no molds to fit. We have found that a crucial component of happiness in our journeys, is to make sure we surround ourselves with people who love us unconditionally, who celebrate who we are and who together exemplify what we like to call The Modern Rule.

Here is to breaking the rules that gave birth to The Modern Rule.